


Beneath: Kiss of Death

by duointherain



Series: Beneath [14]
Category: Gundam Wing
Genre: Gay, M/M, Near Death Experiences
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-06
Updated: 2020-03-30
Packaged: 2021-03-01 01:47:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,054
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23037316
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/duointherain/pseuds/duointherain
Summary: The riot from Duo's POV. Duo spends time as a ghost. Heero proposes.
Relationships: Duo Maxwell/Heero Yuy
Series: Beneath [14]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1306448
Comments: 3
Kudos: 12





	1. Chapter 1

Beneath: The Kiss of Death  
by Duointherain

disclaimer: I don’t own Gundam Wing

It wasn’t supposed to be a riot. Protests were how things got changed. For a moment, Duo was back in his room, a video chat with Heero on while he got dressed and in that disassociated moment, he could almost convince himself that he hadn’t gone to the protest. 

Cuz it’s all downhill from there. He got separated from Relena. Riot roared back and forth like a human hurricane. The disassociation rocked him just as hard internally. Bombs exploded in memories so vivid his heart raced and he ran. The streets smelled of death, old death sweet and swollen. Then the world turned back to now and an armor covered monster raised the baton over Relena. 

Her laughter and smile and her anger and her weird haircuts, and her hand holding his. She was his family. She was his sister. She was home. She was the man he was becoming. She was the courage to tell Heero every day how much he loved him. 

All the reasoning he’d had, the preparation he’d done before coming, all of it lay around him in tatters. He had an air filtration system that he’d brought because he’d thought there would be tear gas. She’d said he was silly. That was probably never going to change. He hadn’t brought any weapons or he’d have put a bullet in the weakest spot of the armor. So he threw his little filtration system like it was a brick. It looked like a brick. 

When the monster spun around in his direction, he flipped him off with both hands and flexed his hips in a fucking motion. There ya go. That’ll do it. 

In the next second he was five again, running through plague devastated streets, bare feet slapping filthy textured metal. When he spun back around, arms rising protectively, it was an angry adult smacking at him over something he’d stolen. Hell everything he’d ever had was stolen in some way. Except his hair. That was all his. 

The baton hit and he fell out of his body like that woman had put Dr. Strange out. Bam and there he was. Relena ran towards the riot cop, screaming, he was pretty sure she was screaming. He waved at her that it was okay, nothing to be so dramatic about. She went in low at full speed, throwing her arms around the guy’s legs, buckling his knees as she lifted him, not much, but just enough so she could throw him down. 

Like wow! Bad ass. 

Oh yeah. There was his body too, blood in his hair, eyes open and empty. Well. That might be a problem. It didn’t feel like a problem though. It felt okay, like it was supposed to be, like he’d finally done something right.  
Martha’s attack dog came walking through the swirling clouds of tear gas and grabbed Relena up by the scruff of her neck, then his body. It’s so odd to think of something that’s like over there, that’s being carried away like a duffel bag, to think of that thing being one’s body. Duo ran a hand through his hair, scratched the back of his neck, and turned away. It just wasn’t his problem anymore. 

There were at least three other people standing around like he was, unbothered by the tear gas or the noise. It all felt so far away. He sat down in the swirl of tear gas, crossed his legs, and let his thoughts wander. He wondered if there was some monster he should be fighting or some challenge to get to some afterlife or get back in his body. 

Heero was going to be pissy about this. Maureen was going to be emotional. 

The sun set.  
It rose again.  
Time didn’t have any meaning.  
It was so peaceful. 

There were no more monsters, no more screaming, no more starving. 

He didn’t remember moving, but somehow he got closer to the stain his blood had left on the gray concrete. A woman came to pressure wash it way and he whispered his scariest dreams in her ear. She and her boss came back. The boss tried to pressure wash away his blood. Duo whispered in his ear too. His words were a chill that covered the man’s metal buttons with frost. 

He couldn’t remember why he didn’t want to leave by then. He couldn’t remember how many sunrises there had been. An androgynous person came to set a flower and a candle there by the bloodstain. Whoever they were, with their short blonde hair and blue eyes, looking all sad and lonely, he didn’t like the way being near this person made him feel alone, lost. Ray, Rey, Reigh, something like that. He growled at them and their hair stood right up on end! That felt good, so he did it again, grinning with long white teeth around the endless void that was growing in him. 

“Duo! Stop it!” She growled back, leaning into the chill of his growl. “You’re not dead! Stop it!” 

“Clearly, you’re wrong,” he snapped back, running a finger down her arm, leaving a trail of white. 

“I’m not afraid of you. I know you’re angry,” she said, clutching her tablet to her chest.

She was a liar. She was afraid. He pulled back and wondered what he was doing. He didn’t want to hurt her. She was.... sister. She was his sister. 

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a light, a bright beautiful light. Home. No. 

Home was with the girl and a blue-eyed boy. 

She was gone then though. The sun set again. The light slowly seemed to grow bigger. 

It made him sad, but he neither knew why nor liked the feeling at all. Peace was better. 

A blond man came and set another candle. Duo watched him set down a prayer mat in the direction of Mecca, kneel, and bend forward. Gods. Different gods. He couldn’t remember the man’s name, but he felt like he knew him. He kept his distance so as not to make him cold, but the farther he got from his bloodstain, the thinner he felt, the brighter the light got. The blond set a photo by the candle, of himself and a man with long brown hair and violet eyes. The brown-haired man looked like a nice guy. They stood close, arms over each other’s shoulder, grinning brightly. It must have been a nice day. 

After he left, Duo sat there staring at the photo. It made him feel less thin, but the light started to sing to him, to pull him. 

He felt so thin, like the light was a black hole pulling him slowly in. 

In a while a man with a dark ponytail and a sword came. He drew the sword and hit the stain with all his will while screaming in a language that the ghost didn’t understand. He was angry, so very angry. Some words came through like dishonor, shame, wake up, but not enough to really make any sense. 

The ghost threw himself on the angry man and mauled him, reaching into him and grabbing his heart. He dropped the sword and staggered away, tears in his eyes. “Oh my god! Duo! You are here! Please come back! Please! They’re going to disconnect you from life support soon! Please! Please my friend!” 

The ghost turned his back to him, arms across his chest. 

The light darkened, the music turning to a glow growling howl. 

The androgenous person came again. Others came that he didn’t know. Many candles circled his bloodstain so he couldn’t even see it. He wanted to go. He was done. He just wanted to go. 

Then an old woman and a young man with blue eyes came. The ghost walked around him and the light had no meaning. Joy filled him and the light turned back to music. The void left him. 

He was Duo. He remembered then. This was Heero. This was love. The other side of the light was heaven and he’d be able to watch over Heero, to wait for him. It was okay. Everything was okay. 

He whispered that in Heero’s ear, promising to always watch of him, to care for him, to love him forever because there was no other way for him to be. The light was right there then, as big as a door.  
The old woman was blind, but she looked right at him. 

“Duo Maxwell,” she said firmly and he heard her as clearer than he’d heard anyone ever. “I can see you.” 

“He’s here?” Heero said, tears filling his eyes. “You can see him? Is he okay?”

“He is here. He can hear you.” 

“Duo!” Heero said, looking around, because he couldn’t see him, couldn’t feel him because Duo wasn’t cold now that Heero was here. “I love you. I have something for you!” 

“I love you too, Heero,” Duo said, feeling tears in his own eyes. He hadn’t felt anything like having eyes in so long. “I’m okay now that you’re here. It’s heaven on the other side. I’ll wait for you.” 

“He says he can feel heaven and that he’ll wait for you,” the old priestess said. 

Heero’s hands shook as he pulled a ring box from his jeans pocket. “I want to marry you. Your body is okay. You don’t have to die. The swelling is down on your brain. They say there isn’t even any brain damage. Please, wake up and marry me.”

“Wow, Heero. Talk about bad timing man,” Duo said, feeling like he had pockets again as he shoved his hands into them. “I mean, yeah, I want to marry you. I’ve always wanted to marry you, I mean, I think. Time is weird right now.” 

“He says he would love to marry you,” the old woman said. 

“Tell him he can do better than me. I’m fucked up and that was before I got my head caved in.” 

“He said that you can do better than him, that he is ‘fucked up’ even before he got hurt.” 

“I love you, Duo Maxwell. Please stay with me. We have so much to do together.” 

“I’m at peace Heero. I love you. But the light is so .. heavy and I’m falling into it. I’ll wait for you.” Duo stepped through Heero’s arms to touch his lips to Heero’s. For just a second Heero leaned into the kiss as if he could feel Death’s lips on his.

“He said he is at peace and that he loves you. He is disappearing into the light. I’m sorry.” 

“No!” Heero sobbed, pointing in front of him. “Tell me where it is! I’ll follow him! Let me come too! Let me come too!”

“You have to wait until your time,” she said.

Heero’s phone rang and while sobbing he answered dutifully. 

“Heero! They disconnected life support,” Rey sobbed. “I tried to stop them! I did!” 

“I know,” Heero said, dropping to his knees. The ring box fell from his hand, the ring rolling out to fall on its side in the center of the bloodstain. “I know... he went into the light. He’s gone.” 

“No,” she said, also crying, “I tried to stop them, but when they turned off the machines, he was flat-lined for a moment, then his heart started beating again. Heero. He’s alive. Duo’s alive.”

Heero crawled to the ring, knocking over candles as he grabbed it up. “Put the phone by his ear. I’m coming. Tell him I’m coming!”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Duo wakes up. This was a very important chapter for me and took forever for me to write. 
> 
> This story is very important to me. The first chapter is kind of a metaphor for what my life felt like before. This chapter was supposed to be happiness and light but it wanted to come out as something a bit more realistic. There will be more chapters as I learn to deal with my life :) Thank you for reading and going with me.

Beneath: The Kiss of Death 2  
by duointherain

Disclaimer: I don’t own Gundam Wing

“Mom, what are you doing?” Rey asked, arms across her chest, tear streaks salty mist down her cheeks. 

“I’m painting my son’s nails,” she said calmly. 

Rey rolled her eyes. “But Mom, like in ten different colors? Seriously? You know he only likes black.”

Maureen shrugged. “Well. When he wakes up, he can change it.” 

“My god you’re petty sometimes. You should paint my nails, not his. It’s my fault he’s... they’re going to.” 

“You didn’t hit him, Rey.” 

“Relena,” Milliardo said softly from the other side of the bed, “He has always lived a dangerous life, this isn’t your fault.” 

Rey spun on him, her blue eyes sparkling with strategic rage. “You can change your name and wear a mask and fight to death with my friends! You can respect my name or I will kick your ass myself!” 

Milliardo smirked in pride. “There’s my sister. For a moment there I thought you were going to melt into a pile of shitty boo hoos.” 

“Fucker,” Rey said, arms crossing over her chest.

“Seriously, Rey, Duo Maxwell has lived a life of honor and courage. When he wakes up, because he will, he is the god of death, is he not? And when he wakes up, you can tell him that he’s your favorite brother.” 

“Oh my god,” Rey said, rolling her eyes. “I’m going to get a sandwich. Do you want anything?”

“Bring me a coffee, from the shop across the street. Make sure they make it fresh.” Maureen said as she shook the neon pink polish. “Milliardo, go with her.”

“What?” Milliardo arched an eyebrow.

Maureen’s head lifted from where she was paying attention to Duo’s nails, her eyes narrowed, lips lifting in a tight smile. “You heard me.” 

“Yes, ma’am,” he said, rising and brushing at the wrinkles in his suit. 

As soon as they were gone, Maureen closed the nail polish and set the bottle down on the stand. She lifted Duo’s hand to kiss the back and press her cheek to his hand for a moment. “My darling, I know how brave you are. I know you’re scared. I know the darkness seems darker than the light ever could be.” 

The equipment keeping Duo alive hummed with its own steady beat. 

“Holding the darkness does not make you safer, my darling. Letting go of it does not make the bad any less bad. It doesn’t mean that what happened to you wasn’t horrible. We can hold the monsters accountable while still living a life of light and love. Do you hear me, Duo, my dear? I know who you are and how strong you are better than you do, so I need you to trust me.” 

“Yeah, I hear you,” Duo said, arms across his chest, eyes rolling. Being a ghost at the hospital was much more annoying than being a ghost with no memory in the square. Angry, suddenly he was so angry! The rage snarled out of him and he smacked nail polish bottles off table. If he’d had any more energy, he’d have stamped on them. “DON’T touch my nails!”

With what energy he had left, he grabbed Martha’s shoulders with both hands and willed cold like he’d never done before. She leaned back towards him, tilted her head back, and had the fucking nerve to smile. “I see you’re angry. And rightfully so. Some asshole hit you in the head with a baton.”

Duo snarled, pulled back, face scrunching up. “Liar! You’re a liar!” He growled, teeth rubbing back and forth over each other smoke curling out from between, blood tears rolling down his face. “I hate you all!” 

Maureen stood up though, calm as peas in a carnivore party. “I can see you, Duo.” 

He blinked, which then got blood in eyelashes, which made him wipe at them and sniffle. “Why!? I don’t understand!” 

“Come here,” Maureen demanded, arms open. 

Bloody face, smoke still swirling out of his open mouth as he grimaced, he stared at her like she’d lost her mind. “I’m a monster! I’ve always been a monster.” 

“You’re my son,” she said sternly, moving closer to him, moving the chair out of the way. 

“No one loves me! I’m a worthless piece of shit! No one will ever want me!” He shouted, hissing at her. 

“I love you,” she said, wrapping her arms around his ghostly self. “I have loved you from the moment I first laid eyes on you, Duo Maxwell-Darlian. You are my son. No person is perfect. I’m not perfect and I hope you’ll forgive me when you do discover my flaws. You’re not perfect. Heero’s not perfect. Rey isn’t perfect. We all love you though. You are worth all the love the world can give you.” 

“I’ll never be happy. I’ve never been happy. I wish I was dead!” 

She pulled back a little bit and smeared bloody tears across his face as she tried to wipe away blood. “I know it seems that way. It seems like things are endless despair or they are shining heaven, with no in between, but the truth is that sometimes we’re feel happy and sometimes we feel sad. Our minds get very energetic and try to make it always the one or the other because change is scary, but we are always in change. I remember the look on your face when you released that elephant toothpaste into the dance. You were happy.” 

“Yeah,” Duo said sheepishly, wiping the back of his hand over his mouth. “That was a good day.” 

“And the day Heero came over for dinner? When you sat in the garden with him until 3 AM?”

“That was good too,” Duo said, “But he’ll suffer if he’s with me. People die around me. Rey almost died. I almost didn’t save her.” 

“And you will fail at things sometimes Duo, and you will crash and you will scream and the world will feel as if you can cry tears of blood. It’s normal when trauma happens. You’ve had a lot of trauma.” When the door started to open, Maureen held up her hand and kept it from opening. “They are coming in to take you off of life support and I need you to wake up. Whatever happens, I will always be your mother. I will watch over you and I will help you. I promise you are good for the world.” 

“What if I get you killed?”

“If I die, it will not be your fault. Compared to you, I’m an old woman. I know as much or more about death than you do. I’m going to ask you to trust me.”

“I don’t know how.” Duo grumbled, arms across his chest as she drew him into her arms. 

“You already trust me, Duo. You are so lucky. You don’t realize it right now, but you feel things so intensely. That’s a powerful gift. Trauma often makes people numb forever, too cautious to move forward, but you are impetuous and brave. You are the most alive person I’ve known. If you’re the God of Death, it’s because you’ve held death at bay for so many people.”

Duo pulled back, only then realizing that he wasn’t short anymore, wasn’t a child with his face pressed to his adopted mother’s shoulder, but man-sized and looking her in the eye. “Then why am I a fucking ghost, Mom?”

“You’re not a ghost, Duo. You’re a genetically enhanced psychic.”

“This is the most bullshit dream I’ve ever had,” Duo complained, lips twitching into a lopsided smile. “I’m psychic and you’re immortal. Fuck, Mom, I don’t actually want to die. I want to live a good life.” 

“You’re going to,” she promised, “Now, if you would please put your focus back in your body, I will be so pleased with you, I will even buy you that new car.” 

“Am I going to remember this? Is this even real?”

“I’ll remember and tell you again as many times as you need.” 

“I’m going fuck things up.” 

“Yes,” she said, pulling his head down so she could kiss the top of his head. “And then you’ll fix them. I said you were psychic, not divine.” 

Duo blinked, something he didn’t remember doing for a very long time and it was such a mundane thing that he focused on that for a moment, several moments. That was strange, not blinking. He wasn’t sure what he was trying to say, but the garble that came out of his mouth was definitely from his throat, his voice.

“Don’t try to talk yet,” some stranger said, peeling his eye open and shining light in it. “You are doing remarkably well, but you had a stroke after the injury, before you arrived at the hospital. My name is Dr. Mazako. I’m going to check your other eye, then your family wants to see you.” 

Duo relaxed. His jaw didn’t want to stay closed. That was going to be a problem. His family. He had a family. They were here at the hospital to see him. He had a family. Rey was okay. Heero wanted to marry him! Maureen might be a little crazy, thinking he was psychic, but she was his mom, now and always. 

The shadow of the doctor moved away from him and he found his right arm worked, but his left didn’t. It was enough to wipe his eyes and then things came into focus. Maureen came through the door, Rey, Heero, Zechs, Quatre, Trowa, Joel, Wufei who was carrying a book and some flowers, and for a moment, he was sure he saw Solo, a translucent Solo who hung back against the wall, waving at him. They crowded around his bed and he reached for Heero’s hand which closed around his and he felt like their hands had always been together, always belonged together. 

“How are you,” Rey asked, grabbing up his other hand, careful of the IV that was still there. “I’ve been so very worried about you!”

“I’d worry about the doctors,” Wufei said wryly, “when Duo realizes they shaved his head.” 

Duo’s mouth dropped open, hanging on the one side. He meant to say, ‘Bald! I’m bald?’, but what came out was, “Baaaarrrr!”

“Not anymore,” Heero said, running a hand gently over the velvet hair on Duo’s had. “It’s been a month. Your eyes are the most beautiful anything.” For Heero, that was poetic.

Wufei pushed his glasses up, facepalming in the same motion. “Have some dignity.” 

Duo intentionally let his tongue hang out the sagging side of his mouth, the other side smirking.

“I see you’re doing well,” Quatre said, patting Duo’s leg. “I was quite worried about you!”

Motion at the edge of the room caught Duo’s eye and Solo waved to him, a skinny boy who the world had abandoned. There was a sense of joy to him though, as if he’d been Duo’s guardian angel and the time of protecting the scared little boy lost in the streets had been successful. A huge light opened where the door hand been and Duo could feel the love on the other side of it, warmth and home. Solo waved one more time before becoming one with the light, going home. 

And something in Duo changed. The protection of the past had come with claw marks and letting that go for a moment he felt like he was in free fall, afraid, but it was Quatre patting his leg, his lover and his sister holding his hand. This was his home. This was his side of the light. There would be time to be pissed about his hair, about everything, but he squeezed Heero’s hand and he knew, he’d always come back to this place where everything was okay. 

“You’re on some good drugs,” Trowa teased. 

Still holding hands Rey and Duo flipped him off at the same time. 

This was the meaning of happiness. This was what everything was for. He was going to sign at them, but he needed both hands for that. Then he realized he’d squeezed Heero’s hand and tried. Sloppy and messy, he signed, “I’m happy. I have my family. I love you.” 

“We love you too,” Quatre said bubbly and cheerful, “Don’t we?”

“Of course,” Maureen said, kissing Duo’s forehead.

“I don’t hate you,” Wufei said, then thrust out the book of poetry he’d brought. “I wrote this for you.” 

“Love you too, Wuffie.”   
Wufei twitched, teeth showing for a moment, then those dark eyes sparkled. “I love you too, Dudu.” 

Duo’s laughter was a twisted cackle. Everything was going to be okay.


End file.
